School children all around the worldNorth America celebrated a grand two week (three week for some) winter holiday which included Christmas, Hanukkah and New Years.
With exams approaching, students needed a break. As the weed was no longer kicking in to reduce school related stress. Students decked the halls on the last day of class before breaks. To celebrate, many young ladies chose to wear their tiny pink dresses, curl their hair into luscious locks and wear fuzzy Santa hats that jingled in the midst of freezing cold winter. Who cares about the frost bite and arthritis issues that could arise, it’s the last day of class and everyone is just so overcome with the thought of festive turkey dinners stuffed with million-dollar-stuffing.
With days getting closer and closer to back-to-school and exam time, the stress is at a continuous rise. It seems nearly impossible to get back into the homework habit, jittery feelings are still in the air and assignments are a scary thought.
During the relaxing holidays, school children across North America have embraced a new best friend; Procrastination. Hanging out with Procrastination consists of important activities such as; video gaming, chatting, shopping, sleeping, eating, clubbing, playing scrabble, smoking etc. With such important things to do with the children’s new best friend, it seems homework and assignments are being delayed as much as possible, and occasionally ditched.
Slowly Procrastination starts to get boring and children no longer feel like spending twenty four hours a day, seven days a week with their new best friend. They start remember that once upon a time, they used to shower every day, wear a pair of fresh clothing, get to class to learn some productive, future friendly materials including number crunching, pointless dictionary reading, and analysing unicorns vs. fat kids.
This realisation usually occurs two days before the immediate back-to-school date, it’s called the oh-crap101. That’s when children realise that they are risking getting into university by failing on final assignments that they should have started working on a long while ago. This coming Sunday, many parents may be going through the same emotional strain of their anger-management children.
So, dear parents, here are some S.Y.A. (Save Your Ass) pointers.
S.Y.A. 1) Upon first signs of a child going into the oh-crap101 realisation, take any chance you get to lock them in any room they happen to be in with their books. (Accidentally lose the spare key until assignments are finished)
S.Y.A. 2) FOR PARENTS WITH DAUGHTERS: Do not blame the emotional outbursts on PMS, even if you are certain it is PMS. Instead, pretend like you care and understand, then evacuate the house A.S.A.P.
S.Y.A. 3) Never threaten the child. It’s 2009, the “I’m going to take away your phone, psp, and Ipod”, will NOT work. Children now days love their electronics more than they love you, they would rather fail school and lose contact with family than give up entertainment.
S.Y.A. 4) Don’t fall for stupid lines like, “If you love me, you’ll write my teacher a note, because I’ve been so stressed and busy with my friend Procrastination that I couldn’t finish my assignments…”
S.Y.A. 5) Do not yell, face the facts, you are in your 50s or 60s, your child is in their teens… You will lose terribly.
S.Y.A. 6) Don’t give a 45 minute lecture, not only are you wasting your time, you are wasting 45 minutes of your child’s homework time…
S.Y.A. 7) If things don’t go your way, CRY in front of your child.
IF ALL ELSE FAILS, THERE IS ALWAYS SOLUTION S.Y.A. NUMBER EIGHT
S.Y.A. 8) Adopt a better child from a third world country.
Boohoo, is that shocking to you? Face it, you know it’s true, North American kids are not as hard working as children from foreign countries. Put a North American child with his PSP, Iphone and what not, with an Asian child, and tell them both that they have an assignment due in 4 weeks. The North American will start the night before, and then make obscene excuses for not having completed it. Whereas the Asian will start and finish the assignment for the next day, leaving this child stress/anger/procrastination free.
-Maria
Note; *The above information is not intended for sueing purposes, if any offence is taken, close this link.*
This blog entry really made me laugh because the author Maria writes it, how it is. It seems like she has seen it first hand; why we try and keep delaying things. We probably do that because we don’t have such severe consequences. If i was in say India and if i hadn’t do my Homework i would be hit with a ruler by the teacher or be made to stand in the corner etc. Yeah but back to the point, seriously really good writing.
I completely agree. You have some very deep insight for someone your age. I advise you to continue writing because I see potential in you. Most children do not target things that matter, you seem to come across as very flexible with your opinion. I do agree, I was born in North America, we are spoiled and tend to delay things as we don’t understand the consequences of our actions. Once again, you never cease to amaze me! It’s nice to see youngsters with a sense of realization. Will continue to read your writing!
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